Hi, my name is Doug, as of 12/8/11 I became Homeless again. The First time was because I could no longer work due to my Medical Disability. This time it was because my wife died. She worked. My Wife,s name is Tisha. We lived in Larkspur, renting a room in a condo, we moved to a cottage just off the river in Guerneville in March of this year. We took in a stray Cat the first week. His name is Kitter. He lived under the bedroom part of the cottage and keep us up from fighting the rat coons. We had a garden. We were planing a trip to Florida to visit family for Thanksgiving, and buy some land, a fixer upper real cheap which they are around in Puttman County, my Sister told us place,s were going under 10 grand with payments of about $200 a month and a Grand a year in land Tax, Tisha had the credit, she worked, mine is shot from my disability, it was why we did not change the last name after our marriage in which would have changed after we got our own place as planned. We were going to clean out and close our storage unit in Hayward on Labor Day weekend and have a BBQ. The last 2 days of August she started to get sick and was not feeling really to well, this happen before early last year, really bad head pain, and really tried, and the Doctors gave her Ibuprofen 800 mg and Prozac and did not order the CT Scan. Labor day weekend she started to get better, and again we believed the illness would pass. In the late afternoon of the 6th of September, I went to help her to the office chair and she went limp in my arms. I got the neighbor to help me get her in the Van, she could hardly stand without help. At the Hospital they believed she had a stroke at the age of 41, the CT scan showed she had a GBM Brain Tumor. I told her, and that she is going to be air lifted to Standford within the hour where they are going to take it out so she could home. I got there the next morning at 10 am, she was post-op 1 hour already and I was told there is not thing they could not do for her, she had days, if not hours to live. I told the Doctors she believes she is going to get better and go home. I went and told her. We talked with our thumbs, like we did when she saved my life just before our first Christmas together, I woke up in Marin Hospital ICU with tubes and IV,s and the Doctors and Nurse,s all pointed at her and said “you can thank her for saving your life because a 911 call would not have”. The Doctors and Nurse,s were great at Standford, they let me stay at her bedside as long as I ate and got some sleep. I told her I would not be able to live there anymore without her ( the cottage ) even if I could afford it, and the cat and I, with her in Spirit are going to make this road trip to Florida as planned, in the 1969 Dodge Van/RV which was giving to us as a wedding gift, and I will live my life the way she would want me to live, she let go of my hand and placed on my stomach and looked into my eyes reminding me to take care of my health, the last week of August just before she started to get sick, we were in the exam room with my Doctor and we told her of this trip to be with family for Thanksgiving, and my Doctor looked right at Tisha and said I am giving you his medical record on disc because of the corrective surgery needed on my Stomach this way its on hand in case of a ER visit. Tisha went into a coma on 9/11 and past away on 9/12 in my arms. I have no Family out here in California anymore, they back east to Florida, and there is no real need for me to be there for Christmas, I plan to leave there at the end of this month, more safe driving on the road a few days after the 25th anyway, and besides, Tisha,s birthday is a few days before Christmas, and other then going to Florida to visit family for the rest of winter before I come back to this area, Tisha has only been far east as AZ, and there is a beach we talked and dreamed of going too, and most of all, about 3 weeks before she became ill, we seen this ad on TV of a Hospital on the east coast about kids with cancer, and Tish asked me if she was to cut her hair, how would she know a child would get it, I said easy, we are going to be near there, so you walk right in the place, see a kid that needs it, and hand your hair to the child, this way you know for sure. Tisha,s hair is silk black and was past her bottom, and I have it in a air tight bag, and am sure she would be happy to know maybe to kids can shear her hair. That be nice.
It seems being Stranded here in San Rafael for Christmas is helping me a little each day in dealing with Tisha,s death. Even tho we lived in Larkspur for more then 2 years, when not camping, we were always in San Rafael most the time each day of the week, mainly the Homeless Dinning Hall, and she worked at the Safeway on B street, that is were we “said Hello”. I pulled in living out of my Blue 1964 Dodge Van and parked in the disabled parking spot, and got out and turned and Tisha was standing there with a cart and asked “would you like a cart Sir” I fell backward, I was looking at a Angel. She looked at me with this funny smile because of the way I fell backward. The smile she would always look at me sometimes and I come to Love. I watch her walk back into the store and she looked over at me again walking threw the door and the smile appeared again. A day or 2 went by with her on my mind, when I go to sleep she was there, when I wake up she was there, I go to the store not to buy anything but to get up the nerve to say Hello, I went to that store so many times in one day I lost count. Her co-workers notice and the one time while standing in the check out line, one of the workers notice me looking at her in the next line trying to read her name tag and the person said out loud, ” oh Tisha, someone is checking you out” she looked and seen me and again, that funny smile, I looked away and ran out the store. A day or 2 past again, this time I was going to say hello, I pulled into the store lot, parked in the same spot when she was standing there with the cart the first time, she was standing at the other end of the store by the doors talking to 2 homeless people, we both knew, and I walked right to her and she seen me coming toward her and they stopped talking and I do not know what came over me, I could not say anything, I kissed her and then said my name as a fell backward and she looked at me with that funny smile again and I just ran in the store and out the other doors and left in shock in what I done. I could not go back to the store, but I stalked her for a day or 2, I would park down the street and watch the parking lot for her when she would collect the carts, “she told me later she seen me parked”. So I went Camping at STP State campground in west Marin County, with some friends who are husband and wife and they notice something was on my mind. I went for a walk, and past this camp site you could not see from ours, and seen a woman,s butt hanging 1/2 in and 1/2 out the tent door and I looked away and went up around to the restrooms and to our camp site the back way, I was looking down as I walked, and the wife was to the left sitting at the table, and the husband standing by the grill about 7 feet away facing each other, and I looked up and standing between them not 3 feet in front of me was Tisha, (it was her butt I seen), I walked up to her and took her hand, and said to her, ” I think your my Girlfriend “, and she replied, ” I do believe something is going on here”. Gary and Evon said it almost together, “so that is what has been on his mind”. Within 3 years, Tisha and I became Husband and Wife. We had one fight and found out it was over because we fell in Love with each other, the fear of love again in having 2 former husbands, one who abused her and myself of not having a relationship for about 20 years sense my x-wife and the decision I had to make for the best welfare of the Children. After that one fight we never said a bad word to each other again, and it seems like we were never apart from each other for not one hour in any given day. ( this will be continued).